10 Tips for the Perfect Wedding

Who would imagine that planning the penultimate event for the most joyous occasion with the love of your life…could make you want to tear your hair out by the handful.  Except THAT would ruin your plans for the perfect wedding hairstyle.  Which might make you push back the date.  Which….Arrrrgh!  Wedding planning does not have to be so stressful.  Here a some sensible tips that should make your nuptial planning go much more smoothly. 

1. Get on the same page with your fianc?

Planning a wedding can cause plenty of friction between two otherwise incredibly compatible people. Before you get into the nitty-gritty, discuss your hopes, concerns, and stylistic preferences in detail. Even though one partner usually takes the lead when it comes to dealing with wedding planning logistics, if both parties involved don’t feel okay with the general plan, problems will inevitably arise — particularly when it comes to the size and cost of the affair.

2. Create a budget

Don’t believe the wedding books or wedding sites — throwing even a modest-sized wedding in the United States is far more expensive than most general information sources will tell you — particularly if you live in a cosmopolitan area like New York or Los Angeles. Budget everything, and budget conservatively. List your photographer, videographer, flowers, honeymoon costs, marriage license costs, hotel room costs for the night of the wedding, ring costs, special ceremonial prop costs, wedding dress and tuxedo costs, food and drink costs, and anything else that might be pertinent. You can use other peoples’ wedding budgets as a guide, but remember that the more explicit you are about your line items, the easier it will be to keep your budget from going off the rails. Along those lines, beware that alcohol and food can really add up — particularly if you are inviting more than a hundred and fifty guests.

3. Set a realistic date

Pick a date well in advance and let your guests know as soon as possible. If you choose a weekend in the middle of wedding season (roughly May through August), you may have to compete with other weddings for your guests’ attention. You want to give yourself enough time to get all of the nuts and bolts in place for your big day. If you don’t leave yourself that breathing room, you will inevitably get stressed out, particularly in the two weeks leading up to the ceremony.

4. Look for bargains

The so-called “wedding industrial complex” runs a smooth marketing operation. Everyone from your florist to your manicurist will have a hierarchy of wedding-related goods and services to sell you, and you will be tempted to choose the top-of-the-line in every category. After all, it’s your big day. However, you can save tons of money in certain areas, provided that you work from your budget and think practically about how to save money. For instance, the groom might choose to rent his tuxedo rather than to buy it. This can save him $300 or $400. The bride might consider shopping for her wedding dress at a warehouse sale or even wearing her mother’s old dress.

5. Delegate some responsibilities

Brides and grooms to be tend to feel put upon to make everyone happy during the wedding planning process. However, no one person can do it all — particularly if that person has to hold down a job or perform any other societal responsibilities. Now is the time to lean on your friends and family. Task your best friend, for instance, to help pick your florist. Call in a favor from Uncle Arnie, the great gourmand, when it comes to choosing the wine list. Be creative. Invite participation.

6. Don’t be afraid to make decisions

You will be faced with many, many options on how to do your hair, arrange tables, set up flower arrangements, instruct your band and/or DJ, and so forth. If you leave these crucial decisions to the last minute, you will get overwhelmed and panicked. Instead, resolve at least some of these open-ended questions early on in the process. This will give you the psychological breathing-room you need to de-stress before you take your vows.

7. Decide on your guest-list as early as possible

One way to simplify your guest-list making process is to break your list down into three categories. Category A involves people who absolutely must be invited to the wedding. (For instance, the bride and groom’s immediate family, your best friends, etc.) Category B covers people who almost surely will be invited — provided there is enough room in your budget to invite them. Category C covers outliers whom you might invite if you get enough no-shows back on your RSVP cards.

8. Get your arrangements in writing

Get signed contracts from vendors. Keep a written record of all of these arrangements, and make sure that you have contact information and photocopies of these contracts available on site. You may need to reference them if something does not go according to plan during the wedding.

9. Have your caterer set aside food and drink for you and your groom/bride to be

During the actual wedding, you will likely be so busy greeting people and partying to eat. But when the band packs up and everyone else goes home, your first thought may not be “let’s go to the honeymoon suite,” but rather “let’s finally get some grub on!” After all, you will likely burn up tons of calories bustling about — so make sure you save some of your delicious wedding food for you and your honey to enjoy.

10. Have Fun!

Your wedding theoretically should be one of the most joyous days of your life. Take the time to reflect on the moment and to embrace the love and affection that brought you and your betrothed together in the first place.